Autistic Emotional Health & Leadership | Healing Burnout Without Toxic Positivity with Jay Reece

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[00:01:06] I got my friend Jay here with me He's a public speaker, a motivator He works to help others become the best versions of themselves And he's very passionate in everything And so I'm gonna let him speak Welcome on the show, Jay Well, thank you, Jimmy, for having me

[00:01:34] And yeah, like you said, I am a motivational speaker I write books I publish some of them I do my best to make sure that everyone is living their best life And I try my best to help them do that Whatever their vision is for their best selves

[00:01:52] That's just what I try to do I'm a person that believes everybody has the right To love themselves and be the best versions of themselves And I don't think that's exactly what we get taught in school and in life So that's just me

[00:02:07] I totally agree with you on that one And man, I was looking forward to I was definitely looking forward to this episode today because Oh, thank you This whole week has been nothing but a Let's just say a sparring roller coaster downhill

[00:02:24] Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my friend Because I love getting to talk to you You were on my show not too long ago And me, you had talked before that And you are just an inspirational person that I love to talk to

[00:02:36] And to hear that you had a bad week Which I know everybody has trying times But what happened in your week? I made this a bad Well, let's just say just a bunch of tools Just kind of just didn't want to work for me anymore

[00:02:50] And then I don't know, have you ever heard of this tool called Crowdfire? It's a social media managing tool And they work with, let's just say some of their APIs are not working From third party companies And I'm not going to say them who they are

[00:03:09] You're a crisp mom But did I say that out loud? I'm sorry No Just make you cough, you cough That's all mother's and what was Yeah, it's coughing and sneeze So yeah Anyway, they were just Every time when I go open up that

[00:03:35] My like to post something in my account In my online managing tool I get a message that says Reconnect your Pinterest account I decided again And the company said that there's nothing that they can do To help me out with this because They only have so many

[00:04:03] Lunation, so much access to Pinterest Because of their API restrictions and what And I was like, well, it was working for a period I mean, like if it's one thing if it worked like Okay, every 60 days I have to reconnect

[00:04:21] But it's not even like 24 hours I go by and I have to be I try reconnecting every single time And then for like a short while and then to be connected again It's like, oh, it's not even like 24 hours It's like, well, I reconnect again

[00:04:36] And I was like, this is stupid 15 Yeah, yeah, that definitely sounds not cool I wonder if there's a different service that you can use I know for me I believe you're more tech savvy than I am But you know that I use a company called StreamYard

[00:04:54] To stream a lot of my show and other things to different social media platforms But Instagram is one of those platforms that they don't allow third parties To infiltrate their system To let you like do live through it for some strange reason

[00:05:10] Which is weird because they're owned by Facebook And you can do that to Facebook but you can't do it to Instagram Which I still don't understand But anyway, I sent an email to StreamYard saying Hey, how can I get to this? How can I stream to Instagram?

[00:05:25] And they were just like, hey, you can't and we're working on it We're working with them to see if we finally can But as of right now, you cannot So now I have to figure out another way to do that

[00:05:36] And I think a lot of times there's always going to be these challenges That present themselves and as stressful and as challenging as they can be My philosophy is I change what I can change And what I can't change, I try my best to move on

[00:05:51] And hopefully God gives me the knowledge to know the difference Or should I say the wisdom? I definitely agree with you on there I've even been told by my therapist that You should just lower your expectations on things Because for me, I kind of have these high expectations

[00:06:21] Somewhere in my brain, I think All these companies have all this much money and everything You think that they would just We should have high expectations as well But some of them do not I'm not going to name any names

[00:06:40] Even though I already just probably named a few Not anything about Crowdfire, but the other one One on Peek Well, I agree with you because I think there's a lot of companies And even people who don't have high expectations

[00:07:01] So when you're trying to start a business, have a business Or run your business and you run into people who don't have the same Expectations that you have, it causes conflict Which can be frustrating because like you Yeah, if people aren't moving at a

[00:07:19] What's the word I want to use? If they're not moving at a high level Or they're not trying to be the best version of the cells Willingly, that usually bothers me And that's something that I had to learn to deal with

[00:07:31] A long time ago that I can't control how everybody else acts I can only control how I act And I just realized that, you know what? I'm going to try my best to be an example And I'm not going to say I lowered my expectations of people

[00:07:46] But I try my best not to Expect so much, maybe Maybe Man, I definitely got to try some of that because Yeah, I think just this whole week has been weighing on me Because I didn't expect that I had to change some of

[00:08:10] I didn't change from crowd fire or anything But I changed my calendar tool like I told you before we got on Because they did a bait and switch in my opinion I don't have any proof but I know that

[00:08:26] And I definitely know that the zoom integration was working And everything correctly And people's emails and everything And then one of my guests on Wednesday I was interviewing He told me, he's like, I didn't get the zoom link Really company?

[00:08:45] I was like, I thought I was scheduling tools supposed to help me Right Interaction And I got all this scheduling myself and like What's going on here? Exactly Which I knew I wish I knew one that I could suggest to you

[00:09:03] Because a lot of the scheduling apps that I use are for posting They're not really for connecting and sending emails and stuff like that I know because Who's Sweet is one that I use and I like Trying to think I have, what is it? Chip, monkey, monkey chip?

[00:09:21] Mail Yeah, mail champ, there you go, thank you I have that one but that's for mail So Actually, yeah, maybe you could use mail champ to do that I don't know if you can integrate it with something else Well, I went back to Calendly again Because

[00:09:39] I liked the tool, I was just trying to find the one that integrates with My two services that offer for speed and my podcast But then I finally found a way I could tweak this tool to Combine them so I asked a question

[00:09:57] And Byn was like, which service are you requesting for? Speaking or podcasting? I guess podcasting So it's something that helps me differentiate Who's who so I don't go crazy I mean, fully crazy I agree with you there, I'm not crazy myself

[00:10:19] So how do you help people live a Yeah, a better version of themselves Well, not to sound selfish But at first it starts with me So I try my best to be an example Of the best version of myself that I can do right now

[00:10:41] And for other people to help them I help them break down mental barriers So we'll have a conversation and say If someone wants to be a famous gamer And they tell me, I want to be a famous gamer I play video games all the time

[00:10:59] My first question would be like, okay So have you posted something? Forget everything that you know about a web browser Because you will be blown away by a psychic browser It's no ordinary web browser like Firefox Google Chrome, Microsoft Edge And all the other web browsers out there

[00:11:27] It's based on productivity And let me just name a few other functionalities that it has It's very fast It blocks ads by default You don't see that with Google Chrome, do you? Nope And there's also a built-in sidebar

[00:11:50] So you can have all your tools and systems all in one place Without having to go search and wait for the web page to load It's just right there where the click of a button Try PsyKick out below with the link in the show notes

[00:12:10] In the descriptions for more information about PsyKick It'll boost your productivity probably tenfold Because that's what I use as productivity Check out PsyKick and tell them I sent you Well, no, not yet Okay, why haven't you posted something? Well, I don't know if people will like it

[00:12:36] Yada yada yada all those excuses I pretty much help break down all these excuses And get to the core root of everything Which usually tends to be mostly fear That's usually the number one thing that stops a lot of people From being the best version of themselves

[00:12:49] Whether it's the fear of what people are going to say The fear of not being able to sustain themselves Or just the fear of the unknown But I just try to break it down to the core essence Of what people want and try to help them achieve

[00:13:05] That goal by giving them tangible steps So let's say if somebody wants to have a... I don't know A hundred thousand dollar yearly income Right? So what do you have to do to get to that? Let's break it down Let's just say by month

[00:13:23] So you probably have to have what I'm horrible at math I usually have his paper beside me You have to have like what, ten thousand dollars Monthly income, right? Okay, sure So how much... What do you have to do to have ten thousand dollars?

[00:13:38] So we start breaking it down Like do you have to sell books? Do you have to do some kind of money Multi-level marketing thing Like what do you have to do? Break down those things Clearly, I know I said like a hundred thousand dollars

[00:13:51] And a lot of people are like Well then who can make that? Unless you're famous Well no, everybody can have that If that's what you want You just got to figure out how to get it And I help people figure out

[00:14:00] How to do that with their best selves And they could even be just to lose weight It could be to make sure that they stay more disciplined Everybody's vision of their best selves varies Some people want nice cars Some people just want to be healthy

[00:14:13] Some people want to live until they're in their 70s Everybody's definition is different So I just help them realize those definitions So I have a question for you This is a question for you Would you be willing to do an example of you Just between you and me

[00:14:32] During this podcast in the video Just to give my listeners a... Just kind of a... I don't know A trial or run Oh absolutely You want me to test you out? Yeah That was your... Okay You're like a real... Okay, no problem So hey Jimmy, welcome

[00:14:55] So Jimmy, I know right So Jimmy, thank you for calling me today I appreciate you spending this time with me So what is one thing that you want to work on? Uh... I would like to... I've been working on this project

[00:15:13] And I can't really specify what the project is But it's kind of a... To kind of abbreviate it It's basically kind of like... It's kind of like a marathon But not as... And it's not a sprint And I'm trying to remind myself there And then...

[00:15:35] We are AudioStack.ai Combining AI writing, the best synthetic voices With production and delivery Be it ads, podcasts or VO's for video Just like this ad How would you utilize AI audio? For free! Go to audiostack.ai.com Give us just a few details

[00:15:55] And you could replace this spot and be heard by millions See web page for T's and C's AudioStack.ai.com And basically I'm trying to finish this I've been trying to work on this project steadily But I can never find the time to

[00:16:14] Literally figure out the best time Because when I try to write it Write for it at night It does not work very well Because then I get caught up in my emails And later on before I even go to bed And I might see some annoying email

[00:16:39] That's like, great, I'm going to bed angry now Cool! I get that I do my best to never check my email at night Because it always irritates me I usually check my email in the middle of the day That's just for me because

[00:16:56] It helps me cool down or get ramped up Depending on how the day is going So if I'm understanding correctly Like you have a secret project Which I love secret projects It makes me feel like I'm working for the government

[00:17:08] Or a spy or something so it's very cool So you're doing it in a double life So you have this project And you're saying that It's more of a marathon type project And not a sprint, right? Yep, okay So one of the issues that you find

[00:17:26] That you're having is that You haven't been able to figure out the time To work on it and actually progress Is that correct? Does that sound right? Okay, so I tend to wonder If you had to pick the best time of day To work on this project

[00:17:42] What time of day would that be? I probably would have to say maybe around Three or four o'clock-ish Okay, that's cool, that's a very good time A lot of people tend to be like Very work efficient at that time of day So around three or four o'clock

[00:18:06] What are you normally doing that time of day? Around four o'clock-ish I'm either... It kind of depends Like Sunday and Sunday Middle of the week I'm either asking my parents What we're doing for dinner Because I still live with my parents Because my college is a commuting school

[00:18:36] And they don't have dorms And since it's the pandemic, it's amazing They... And so what I'm trying to... And then like... So sometimes when I go downstairs I get sucked up in... My dad has a TV on And I kind of get wrapped up in stupid TV

[00:19:02] And I don't try to watch TV during the week Because I just have... I have so many different things happening at night I have something at night on Monday I have a book club on Tuesday Karate three days different times over the week And so yeah

[00:19:25] So four o'clock Three o'clock I'm usually either I might be interviewing someone Or I might be on an interview Four o'clock sometimes I'm either... Sometimes on an interview or whatnot But not always So... But sometimes I get sucked up in stupid television Watching Judge...

[00:19:52] No, I get that completely Plenty of times where I could be doing something And my phone no ding Because I forgot to cut the ringer off Or notifications And it'll suck me into whatever it is And I gotta remember to disconnect Or leave from that situation

[00:20:10] That I found myself in looking at the phone now But I wanna ask What happens if you don't finish this project? I wouldn't say anything would happen But I would say more of the line in the lines is that

[00:20:31] It would help me get more exposure of who I am Okay And not trying to give away too much detail But it would help me expand my reach across It has nothing to do with social media But it helps me get my name out there And... Yeah

[00:20:55] You might be thinking... Oh, I understand you completely And I wouldn't want you to give away Not give away anything that you're not ready to give away So let me ask It sounds like this project is important So let me also ask

[00:21:14] Is the project more important than what's on TV? Or is TV more important than the project? The project is more important than TV But sometimes I just also get wrapped up Because my parents might be talking to me about something

[00:21:30] And then well, I need for them to fully... Talk to me about... Thanks to our sponsorship with DeepStash You're probably wondering what the heck is DeepStash Well, DeepStash allows you to learn stuff Learn new stuff every single day You can become the smartest person in the room

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[00:22:42] So go check out my friends at DeepStash You won't regret it Yeah, they're questioning that they were asking me I started going and starting to the TV Let me know when you have that question I'm dirty in your hands Like me

[00:23:05] So here would be my suggestion for you It's a couple things The first thing I would do is You have to start changing the behavior with one step at a time And one of the ways that I've found that I've been able to do it

[00:23:21] Is a reward system So if I were in your shoes and say I'm out of my room to ask about dinner Or for whatever reason that I had an interview Or whatever the case may be When I'm able to just break away and come back to my work

[00:23:39] And I do, I don't know, 15-20 minutes or so Whatever you think is a good time I would celebrate I mean it doesn't have to be like a whole big party And going crazy But I would take that moment to acknowledge You know what? Yeah, I came back

[00:23:55] From the back to help me understand how important And how good that feels That I was able to commit and stay true to myself And also what I would start doing is Realizing that don't get me wrong I understand parents are authority

[00:24:12] Like I would never intentionally disrespect my parents And I'm not suggesting that you or any of the listeners out there But every person on this earth Tends to be selfish So we don't always notice when somebody else is busy

[00:24:28] Well, like have you ever been in a situation where You could be hard at work Your head is down, looking at the book, writing Someone will come up to you Hey, by the way And they'll start going off in this whole long tangent

[00:24:41] Of some story that has nothing to do with anything that's around Right? Yep And then they've been, they've ate up your time for a good 30 to 40 minutes And by the time they leave, you don't even remember what you were doing

[00:24:55] You have to get back, you have to re-engage To what you were doing So whenever you leave your room Try to have that thought and say Okay, I come in here to ask a question about dinner That's all I'm going in for, I'm having a thought about dinner

[00:25:08] Once I get that information I'm back to my room And then recognize that it's okay to say Hey mom, dad I'll answer your question Or we can have this conversation I really have to get back to this project Because of X, Y and Z If that makes sense

[00:25:26] It's setting those boundaries To let people know that you are accessible But at the same time You have to be able to go and do your work Yeah, if that makes sense I don't know if you have ever been interrupted Like

[00:25:40] Oh, never, I've never been interrupted at all Oh yeah Or what about somebody like Literally just coming into your room Without even knocking And then And it was like, oh Jimmy what you been up to? Uh-huh You I'm working Yeah Right What are you up to?

[00:26:06] Well, I only have 100,000 tabs In my open and go to Chrome Right Exactly, well, I was Jimmy I don't think we said it to the audience I think you know Jimmy, I have two children I have a wife Plus the guest that I talk to

[00:26:22] There's a lot of things I currently stay with my in-laws Just because of COVID and some things that were happening In my life But I actually had to have A Come to Jesus meeting With everyone that's in my house To say, hey, when I'm downstairs

[00:26:40] In the office with the door closed Don't come in It means that I'm doing something If you can hear my voice acting like I'm having a conversation with myself Chances are I'm talking to somebody It's not just me in there goofing off

[00:26:54] So you guys gotta give me some boundaries I mean, it was a little more than that Not as blunt But essentially it's all about setting boundaries In that particular type of situation Where people have to understand That you're busy and there's things that you have to do

[00:27:08] And sometimes people just honestly Don't know and they're not aware You're busy and you have some stuff to do Particularly if we've been If we have been Trained To not show that we're busy Because it's the polite thing to do Is to not tell people that we're busy

[00:27:28] It's to let them unload or vent And then go back to what you do We're not really taught to say, hey You know what? I'm working right now I'm more than happy to talk to you later But right now I have to finish this Definitely

[00:27:42] I've been in a few of those situations And that being under statement a few So how many years Have you been a motivational speaker? I like to jokingly say all my life Because even as a kid I was always very positive And I was always the one saying

[00:28:02] You know, we can do it, let's go We got this, oh dad come on We got this, let's go mom, you know All of these stuff, but Professionally I have been a motivational speaker For about five years now Geez That's longer than me Make me look bad

[00:28:22] No, no Not at all, not at all But man I wish you were in part I wish I met you sooner than Well you know everything's in I didn't do time because trust me A long time I was like man

[00:28:40] I wish I had done this or I wish That would have happened sooner but Everything happens in this time when it's supposed to So how many books have you written? Oh wow, I don't know if I can answer that I've written a lot of books

[00:28:54] I have one published, to be honest I have one that's published Legacy of Sino-book series I'm holding up now and That is my first published Novel I actually published that last year I'm still in the editing process Where you can get that where all final books are sold

[00:29:10] And All the other books that I have written I'm still either in the editing process Or they just don't feel Right yet to release and that's not Me being afraid to drop them out There's just no literally like there's things

[00:29:24] In the book that I still need to tweak Or stuff like that so Does the editing process take a long time? I think every Book is a little different to be honest With Legacy That took me editing About 6 months 3 months was Myself editing and then going back

[00:29:46] And forth with the editor that I Hired Just curious I like When I first Started this podcast I was I Interviewed my A friend on twitter Who is an author Thinking he's Writing his fifth book now In this series I mean fifth total

[00:30:18] Total book and he had a different series And so I'm just kind of curious because I don't think I asked him On that on the Podcast man I wish I can have him up back for part 2 Yeah exactly just bring him back

[00:30:36] Have that part 2 get all the questions That you haven't asked but um yeah Like I've talked to other authors And they're able to get their books edited In a matter of weeks to A month it depends on the author

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[00:31:52] Boyd were prohibited by law See terms and conditions 18 plus No words In school English was not my strongest subject I was horrible at English Talking it Writing it Because of the time I didn't read And I didn't want to read But becoming into adult

[00:32:14] I started reading more to the point now Where I read everyday My writing is a reflection Of what happened in my youth At least grammar wise I'm not alone coming up with stories The concepts, all that lovely stuff

[00:32:28] So me and my editing process takes a little bit longer Because I have a lot more mistakes But trust me all those get worked out before the boys get published I promise Hey we can all be perfect Even James Patterson makes his mistakes Right exactly

[00:32:42] Yeah I was just reading a book Recently And I knew what the author wanted I knew what the word he wanted to say But it was just This edited word I mean it wasn't typed incorrectly But it was just not for the sentence And I was like

[00:33:00] Yeah that doesn't look right to me Okay And I make my own mistakes too Because I So I have a I use this tool to help me Think of different titles For my blog post And it doesn't always have The grammatically correct Title And it's the perfect

[00:33:26] By any means You can go back in there And type it in there So I kind of On this one blog post I published it And then after the fact The next day That title is not grammatically correct I was like learn to how to

[00:33:48] Learn to how to People were still sharing it And I'm glad that people liked the post Besides the grammar Well it's like you said Everybody makes mistakes And it makes us human I can't live my life trying to be perfect I try to live my life

[00:34:10] In a progressive state I've always been getting better than I was yesterday And It brings me Joy when I see mistakes On blog posts And books Not because I want to laugh at that person But it just lets me know like hey This person is human too

[00:34:30] To this day I don't think I've ever seen an Error in a Stephen King book But I know there are some other authors out there Which I won't put them on the front street That I've seen a grammatical Error and it's just like Cool I like it

[00:34:46] Luckily in my Novel that I know of I haven't found any The people that have read it so far Have not found any But even if they find some It's just like life's too short It is what it is There's an error Now anyone who reads my book

[00:35:06] Can try their best to find the error It's all good To be honest Listen to this episode I'm When I said James Patterson I really like his books And I have no Disrespect with him whatsoever I love his books I read a lot of his books

[00:35:28] I'm a big fan of his books So I wasn't like bashing Him or anything It's okay Jamie I'll bash James Patterson man I hate all his writing All my best ideas Can't stand him Please don't take me serious out there I'm just messing But yeah

[00:35:50] I'm a big fan of his His books that keep flying out Does he ever sleep I wonder It's funny because A couple days ago I saw an interview With Stephen King And JR Token And JR was interviewing Stephen King And JR was like

[00:36:18] How do you write so many books I don't understand why do you write so books so quickly With everyone knows JR Token is like notoriously Takes forever to write his Game of Thrones novels And all that stuff And so everyone laughs And Stephen King

[00:36:34] He just kind of looks and he's like I write for 2-3 hours every day And I write about 6 pages every day Right I know right And me as an author I'm just like 6 pages Holy even if I sat in my desk For 2-3 hours I can't guarantee

[00:36:50] I'm gonna pump out 6 pages Like wow But JR Is just just there and he's like So you're telling me you never have a bad day You don't have writer's block Your kids never come downstairs and mess with you And you never have an issue

[00:37:06] So of course at that point Stephen King's like Okay well yeah every so often I don't hit my mark but he says Generally that's what I do and that's why I write, that's why I have so many books And I only share that story because

[00:37:18] I'm sure it's probably the same type of scenario With James Patterson That he probably has A dedicated mindset To committing to writing So many pages Or chapters a day Which I can tell you now I do not have that commitment yet That is not something I have

[00:37:36] I mean Like by and Like I would love to have that mindset But I have Other stuff I'm doing And I'm not saying It's not even being lazy It is I run my own website which is My job itself I also host this podcast And I

[00:38:00] Enjoy that more than My website at a lot of times And I love motivational Speaking even though I haven't spoken on stage yet You know I said I got to spoke on stage Stupid pandemic Right Oh man this pandemic has Changed a lot for several

[00:38:22] Or I shouldn't say several, a lot of people But I think When Stephen King said That he writes six pages a day I think that was more alone He's in his I hate to use the word passion but he's like In his lane, like he found

[00:38:38] What he loves and he found What he's good at so he just doesn't He makes the time to do it And he's dedicated towards it right And I think a lot of us We undervalue what we're good at And we don't do it enough

[00:38:52] To hone it and make it perfect I mean there's nothing wrong with being Multitounded and doing multiple things Cause just like you, I have a show I write books, I go out and speak Well I don't go out and speak anymore I speak via web

[00:39:06] And then plus, like I have a family And all that stuff so yeah we're all busy And we all, I think it's just a matter Of what you decided to make time for And what's the priority in that moment Yeah definitely So just out of curiosity

[00:39:22] How did you Like What are some of the things That you speak about besides Personal Self growth Is there other topics you speak About as well? Well Jimmy, thank you I'm glad you asked, thank you Well Honestly I actually speak about veganism About living a healthier lifestyle

[00:39:52] For yourself, the animals And for the world I also go on parenting Because again I am a father And that doesn't mean that I'm the best Being a dad or that I don't make mistakes It's just I have a level of experience Because I have two healthy children

[00:40:08] That one is 15 The other is 11 So as of right now I think I'm doing pretty good And so they're still alive, so you know it was good Oh that's good And I just speak about being Just being your authentic self I speak about the things that I know

[00:40:24] And that I've experienced You know When you say Authentic self Something Jogged in my memory So some of the Every time when I write something on social media I get feedback from My Dad because he follows me on LinkedIn That's the only guy I can follow I mean

[00:40:52] He follows me on other things Smart man, smart man But It's not like I say anything Stupid or anything But If I am Okay I type Pretty fast on a smartphone And sometimes I even just type with my thumb So Okay, I might not Catch every single error

[00:41:22] And I guess I'm Not being perfect And so sometimes I just Post it right on social media Because basically If I looked at it later on Okay, there's a mistake in the word From the way I didn't put Like When I was Basically Boycotting the Golden Globes

[00:41:48] I can fit everything into 280 characters On Twitter And post it on LinkedIn And so on Facebook And so I kind of And my Dad Pointed it out and was like Can you go back and edit this And it's like I'm pretty sure people will understand

[00:42:12] What the gist of everything And just because I miss one word Or a few words Right They're overall gist of the ideas Right there And so sometimes I feel like I kind of get Just stressed a little bit Because everybody's just telling me You have to be perfect

[00:42:36] And it's like Well If you find that perfect person The internet can be A distraction place It's full of distractions Like social media Shopping and so many more Websites that are very distracting Just like video games And whatnot But it is all over the place

[00:43:04] So much noise going on Well with a blocker tool Like Freedom Blocker All those distraction websites That you find distracting I block RuneScape Facebook Twitter And all those social media marketing tools Without Freedom Blocker I wouldn't be able to run CrazyFitnessGuy.com Because I'd be distracted

[00:43:30] All day long But thanks to them So I'm no longer distracted Go to visit Weblink in the show notes For more information about Freedom Blocker For more information About what they do What they are And whatnot And the best part about Freedom Blocker

[00:43:52] You can use it on all of your devices Apple Windows Max And more Visit them to find more information Let me know Right, exactly. I'm with you on that Let me know as well Exactly And let me answer your question Jimmy by sharing a short story

[00:44:23] So when I was a kid I had a really big imagination Huge imagination And often It wouldn't necessarily get me in trouble But it would definitely bring attention to a lot of different people In every different type of scenario Like I came from a family Of sports addicts

[00:44:41] And just adrenaline junkie type people And that necessarily wasn't me I like to go outside And play Power Rangers or pretend I was Who knows what, play with Legos Build these whole different worlds Right stories like that was me

[00:44:55] And I would often get in trouble because we could be Who knows where We could probably be at a funeral And I would be that kid in the bag Oblivious to the dead body in the front I would just be sitting there playing and doing whatever

[00:45:07] I would do to get down one day And he met this In the most caring, loving way possible But he told me Son, sometimes you stand out too much And I need you to be like water See water can fit into any container Water can be like

[00:45:25] Anything anyone needs it to be And I need you to be like water And For me That I was trying to conform To what everybody else needed and wanted me to be Instead of being my true authentic self And it took me years

[00:45:43] To break out of that mode Because again, my father He was loving me the best way he knew how Unfortunately, he was projecting His fear of ridicule And me being ostracized On to me Not knowing that if he had just Helped me live

[00:46:01] To be who I am supposed to be Be the most authentic self Version of myself How much better could or would I have been And I think a lot of different people Are stuck in those type of situations And do that to people Without being known

[00:46:17] Case in point, like I'm not perfect When my kids were younger I'm trying to think of a good example I know there were times where I might have told them Hey, stop smacking your food Or don't do this Because I was afraid people would laugh

[00:46:33] At them in public When in reality, who cares if people laugh At them in public? My kid is my kid They're going to be the best version of themselves regardless And I think that might be what was going on Which, currently, I've never met your father

[00:46:45] I'm sure he's an awesome dude But it sounds like From hearing your side of the story Is that he might be projecting His fear of whatever The issue is on to you But that's my personal opinion I'm not saying anything bad about your father

[00:47:01] But that's me because a lot of people do that Out of love But at the end of the day, just be you Granny, it don't hurt to spell check sometimes Or go back and look over it But just be you Life's too short to worry about

[00:47:15] Grammar grammatical errors I mean, I did Try to spell check But like I was During a social media post Literally before Maybe an hour before I went to Before I wanted to read my book And then I just wanted to Get to it

[00:47:39] And then my dad told me the next day And like You should pay attention to it And it's like Well, instead of Well, I have to come From a parent perspective I had to get to a point of A lot of times I'll see

[00:47:59] So let me give an example My daughter Like I said, she's 15 So right now she has She has Pinterest and she has TikTok Okay And on TikTok She can kind of do what she wants to do on TikTok I don't monitor her TikTok

[00:48:17] But I follow her there and I can see what she posts And she made a post Replying to someone's negative Comment about her posts She didn't say anything mean to this person At all But she did have some Grammatical errors or she didn't do it exactly

[00:48:33] The way I would have done it And when I first saw it My ego was like Hey, tell her To ignore that person. Just don't give them the attention Don't give them any energy whatsoever But then The rational side of me was like You know what?

[00:48:51] That method I would get I was not pretty I just wanted to be Kind of easier for her I was really patient I granted her a few incisions Because of all the roles she's Made, I'm really responsible For what she does And it is definitely thrifty

[00:49:16] Of how she flies have gave her the compliment and or then gave her like a critique about what she did, that compliment would have went away. So what I've learned to do now is give a compliment and then I don't know, a couple of days later,

[00:49:35] if the if the circumstances present themselves, then I might try to say something about the behavior that I feel could be altered or changed. If that makes sense. Yeah. Right?

[00:49:48] So I think your dad is, I think your dad is trying to help you because in the long term, there probably is nothing wrong with checking a grammatical error. Could he have maybe said that to me in a different way? Possibly in a nicer way? Probably.

[00:50:04] But in a, in a, I'm sure. I probably should have, I probably should have also double checked but I was kind of just getting a tweet out there because I know for, I know for myself if I, I

[00:50:18] don't do something right there, I'm going to wait till the next day and then I'm going to get caught up in some other project. Ah. I'm going to do it the next day. That's not, that next day is not kind of.

[00:50:34] No, I get you completely and it's always hard hearing criticism from the ones that we love just because like we want them to see the best versions of ourselves. We want them to see what good we're doing.

[00:50:47] So when they happen to tell us about a mistake that we made, it's just it hit us a little harder than it would if a stranger told us. You know? Yeah. And, and what's funny when you were saying about when you were growing up

[00:51:02] and everything, a dinner, flying with Legos and whatnot. I, here's a fun fact. I used to have a lot of, I had, I mean, I still have them. I had full of Legos. I had this huge big name box full of Legos.

[00:51:21] And I mean, it's not those kits and sometimes I had those kits or you can put that one cyber on the box together. But sometimes I take those kits and I put, I added to whatever I was making and just go along with it.

[00:51:37] And I like we had our house is a very big house, right? I mean, that's a very rich or anything. I mean, I know what you mean. Yeah, this grew up in like stories. I mean, the basement and three floors. That's it.

[00:51:57] And what's we had this and our basement is a finished basement and and I used to have all my Legos spread around the basement by mine. But basically, I was building a huge big Lego city and it got so big that my mom had me put into this

[00:52:23] storage room that no one else was using, which is other games and everything. So I put it in there. I kid you not. I took up the whole room of that room. Nice. And like you can do the only people

[00:52:43] and so my my mom had to go into that room. You can figure out how to maneuver in that room. The only person who knew how to maneuver around it was me. And I was like, I know where to step. I knew where to do this.

[00:53:00] And it's like sometimes by accident, one thing over. But then I put it right back to where it's supposed to be. But I was like, I knew that I knew the game is like this is my only.

[00:53:11] And I didn't this is the space that no one can get to me and no one can annoy the hell out of me. I love it. I love it. It's like my safe spot. And I just surrounded my.

[00:53:24] Don't ask me what happened to that city because it was. That city went crumbling down and I'm not gonna know what happened. I tell you after the show, but let's just say it was London. Bridges falling down where you want me.

[00:53:43] You're making me want to go out to buy Legos real quick. That's what you're making me one of them. I have plenty I share. Oh, nice. Nice. I love it. I could you as I went in a box. It's literally a huge big

[00:53:57] carton, I think I'm a carton. One of those big plastic bends. Yeah, just mixed puzzle pieces. Not puzzle pieces. Yeah. Lego pieces. Yeah. Pieces. Lego pieces. Yeah. Every night, every day when I came home from school

[00:54:18] and this was before I even say it before I got into video games, but even when I wasn't playing video games or when I was playing video games, I'm like basically that was basically my safe spot because I got bullied a lot.

[00:54:36] I might have told you when I was right. Yeah, that's cool. And so when I got home, I was in I went to my Lego room. That's why I called it because it was filming with my Legos. I even had Playmobil

[00:54:53] and I basically played with both of them at the same exact time. I made up these weird different stories in my head. And but I was like, I think the reason I got hooked on video games and Legos was because I got to control something.

[00:55:11] And if you ask, I can control everything in my own life. I mean, like you said, companies and this and that. And right. And so one hour and so I was like, wait, I get to control something in a game. Thanks. Yeah.

[00:55:31] Yeah, I spent one too many hours on video games growing up. I kid you not, I probably was playing around like maybe 90 plus hours a week. Whoa. Wow. Yeah, I still did my homework, but I mean, it wasn't like I was staying up very late at night.

[00:55:54] I mean, I played when I got from home from after homework and I played for you from that. So when before I went to bed and I'm in the weekends, we're just like get up in the get up in the morning. Right. The rest of the day.

[00:56:13] I mean, I don't play video games much now, but I know back in the day Oh, wow. I don't know how many games, how many hours I play a week, but I definitely would play two to three hours a night.

[00:56:25] Definitely like after school, got homework, finished watching Power Rangers, jump on the game. Yeah. Yeah. And it's fine when you were when you said about the lighter part, I was like, man, are you sure we're not long, long lost cousins or something? I know, right? Exactly.

[00:56:42] Right. I see the family resemblance. It's all good. My even my my cousins on my mom's side of the family, we got into they were into Legos too. So yeah, it was just one fun event after another. I love it.

[00:57:00] I think we played in the basement for like, I kid you not. The minute that me and my my cousins got together, we went to the basement. You didn't see us until lunchtime or during time. That sounded that sounded like me anytime.

[00:57:16] Like even to this day as an adult, if there's Legos around, yeah, just just leave me alone. I'll be there for hours. As is my mom's like, do we really have to move from this house? Because I'm a love to get my Legos out again and just

[00:57:33] people's like. Like people come back to the house trying to look at the house and say, why is there Legos all over the place? I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. Did I do that? Is my parents probably like, Jimmy, put those stupid Legos away. Make me. Right.

[00:57:59] So before we wrap up, where can people find you? So finding Jay Reese is almost on every social media platform. I'm on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn, Clubhouse and I want to say Thriller. I think I'm on Thriller too. But yeah, just in few feet.

[00:58:26] Thriller is kind of like Instagram meets TikTok. But I'm on there as well. Like I joined up because everyone thought that TikTok was going to go away. It was going to get banned. So I was jumping on different platforms and I'm guilty of that myself.

[00:58:43] So I'm on Thriller as well. So yeah, if you are on social media, just find just look for finding Jay Reese. And that's if I'm there, that's what I'll be. You know, I before before I let you go,

[00:58:56] I really loved that you said I'm almost I'm on pretty much every platform. That would be me. I'm more on I play more platforms than you would possibly imagine. Well, oh, trust me, I don't mean intentionally to be on every platform.

[00:59:16] It's just for different things that I do or to network with certain types of people or to help certain people, certain types of platforms do the job. So I get it. I will just be I just making a joke because

[00:59:30] yeah, even though that you might see like a set of number of social media icons on my website for this guy on me on the back end. It's one long list of so many that's directory. No one has his profiles.

[00:59:50] Yes, yes, you're definitely better to be man having to manage all those. I can barely manage the ones I got. So yeah, and it's funny. I don't think any company in the world has that many profiles as I do.

[01:00:04] There's like, oh, yeah, we on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter is like, yeah, and I'm on one to flip in many. So that's because you're about to take over the world, Jimmy. You're about the world domination. Sure. Not yet. Seek a plan. Don't. Oh, sorry. My bad. Sorry.

[01:00:23] You're an agent. My fault. I got a mission. I could be Michael Weston from Burn Notice. Oh, yes. Maybe. Well, thanks for coming on the Crazy Fitness Guys, healthy, loving podcast. And I hope we can get you back again. Oh, thank you, Jimmy.

[01:00:43] Yeah, I mean, you're cool with friends. Yo, anytime you want me back as long as our schedule is me, I'll be here, man. My schedule is always up. Well, I say this humbly. Luckily, mine is not. But when we can work something out, I'll be back. I promise.

[01:01:00] OK, my schedule is busy. But I haven't problem. Look at them. All right, you too. Thanks, Jimmy. Prescription products require completion of an online medication consultation with an independent health care provider through the LifeMD platform and are only available if prescribed. Subscription required. Individual results may vary.

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