Goal Setting Without Shame | Autistic Wellness & Accountability with Len DeCarmine

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[00:03:03] plan is right for you. the beginning of the year versus it's not like it's not December so it still counts. My January is busy. I'm doing statistics. Come on. Give me some stock here. There you go. So I felt like this would be a great time to have you back on because you know

[00:05:22] We're already at the February. People, there's a lot of people out there

[00:05:25] who set goals January 1st.

[00:05:27] We probably haven't even started them yet.

[00:05:30] And now it's four weeks in, already into a new month.

[00:05:34] And they're probably still thinking

[00:05:38] about getting them started and not putting them into action.

[00:05:43] And that's OK, because like you said, Jimmy,

[00:05:45] you still have February, you know, a lot of people are out there trying to 10 X things to, you know, go all angle, big, go home or go home. That's great, but it burns out. It's great to have those big, big goals. It's great to go for the moon. But a lot of people don't even know what that looks like, or how to

[00:07:02] even get to the moon, so to there. So that's why I suggest, and even do for myself, go for the smaller picture.

[00:08:23] Accomplish that first, then expand upon it,

[00:08:27] and expand upon it, it just because since I was changing

[00:09:44] my sleep schedule a little bit, because I feel like So you can have all your tools and systems all in one place without having to go search and wait for the web page to load. It's just right there where the click of a button. Try Sidekick out below with the link in the show notes and descriptions for more information about Sidekick.

[00:11:03] It'll boost your productivity probably tenfold. It's dark out. I'm in my bed nice and warm and cozy. You know, why would I want to leave? All right But I know what my purpose is and I know where I want to go and that pushes me to get out of bed to go to the gym even when it's cold outside To get in my workout for the day because I know if I don't

[00:12:23] If I don't feel good about myself I

[00:15:00] I wouldn't say a lot. It was like just a few, like, maybe three or four big tests. And I got like over 100 plus tests done last year. And it was just a few that just kind of like left my mind. And then when I came across them again. I was like, oh, well, I'm not going to leave anymore. So I was like, because like, well, I could always leave. And it's like, no, I'm done. I was like, I'm not leaving you. I was like, I jumped through different fun stuff and like our self-help books or fiction books just so I don't get like all stressed out. Like all I do is just when I get up in the morning, I go from whatever time I start to whenever I stop

[00:16:24] and then go to the carotidians,

[00:16:26] I feel like a giant robot.

[00:17:27] Just because my brain can't transition, like if I'm reading something, I'm waiting on hold for somebody, it's like my brain can't transition quickly from the book to somebody else telling

[00:17:32] me, I'm like, hi, I'm working with the customer service.

[00:17:36] How can I help you?

[00:17:37] I'm like, where's my transition break?

[00:17:40] I can't get this.

[00:17:41] I know I get that.

[00:17:42] I think that transition break as well sometimes when I'm setting up an audit posted to some of my social media networks and I had to tailor it to a certain way so that it doesn't get hit by the spam filters and whatnot.

[00:19:03] And I was already screwing up on,

[00:19:06] I would say screwing up,

[00:19:07] but I was already messing up because like, get off track from their goals and go on those like hamster wheels or if they hit a plateau, then they just say, I'm done. No, that's a great question. People always have, they start off with good intention

[00:20:20] with wanting it.

[00:20:21] But the thing is that they don't want it bad enough.

[00:20:24] If you want something bad enough, you'll get it done. get stuck there and sometimes growth and growing is scary. And it's easy to stay in our comfort zone. And a lot of people don't want to push themselves to grow. It's easier to stay comfortable and stay the pleasure than push yourself into that zone of unknown,

[00:21:42] that is on the fear of what would happen

[00:21:46] if I did accomplish this. Why didn't you do it? You know, and as your friend, I would say that to you. And then I would hear the story you would tell me, but you just didn't prioritize it. You just didn't make it to be important. And things that we make important in our lives, we get done.

[00:23:05] So that's where, what I feel in my opinion is where people get stopped.

[00:23:07] I think if you go up. They just go, I'm good, I'm staying in bed, keep hitting the snooze button, snooze button. And then they wonder why their life hasn't changed because, but they made that choice. They're making that choice.

[00:24:20] Every time I hit the snooze button to not get out of bed

[00:24:24] is a choice that I'm okay, we're on that,

[00:24:27] and I don't need to change. a reusable water bottle like HydroFlex because it just sits on my desk and it just sits on my desk and reminds me, hey, you gotta drink water. And HydroFlex, it keeps it cold longer, which makes me wanna drink more water throughout the day

[00:25:41] because there's nothing worse than drinking warm water.

[00:26:42] I'm glad that you brought that up. That is a wonderful thing to do.

[00:26:44] Move your alarm clock across the room.

[00:26:47] Don't put it by your bedside.

[00:26:49] Don't put your phone by your bedside.

[00:26:51] Charge it across the room

[00:26:53] so that you literally have to get up out of bed

[00:26:57] to go and turn off that alarm clock.

[00:27:01] Because now you're up.

[00:27:03] Now you can start your day and start moving

[00:27:07] and waking the body up giving weekly motivation, starting a crazy fitness guide business that you have, you know, being an advocate for autism. Now you're an amazing individual. Thank you. So just keep working on your pathway. Don't worry about those other things just yet. Focus on your schooling, focus on building your business

[00:28:22] and just keep doing what you're doing my friends.

[00:28:26] You know, I also want to bring attention pops up and same thing on my computer when I first, when I open Notion up because I put all my templates from my live stream on there just so I don't have to redo the whole thing over and over and over again. I sound very, very lazy, but when you can,

[00:29:40] you might as well save some time as an entrepreneur.

[00:29:43] I agree.

[00:29:44] If you can find some ways to save time,

[00:29:46] there's nothing lazy about that.

[00:29:47] You're just being efficient. to you know visualize their success meditate on what their goals and vision is is a great way journaling is a powerful tool to see how you're progressing and maybe what thoughts are coming up and reflecting on that as well to help you stay focused on your goals and

[00:31:01] where you want to go and you're fighting down your wins and of course celebrating all the There's this company called FitOn for fitness. It's a free fitness platform. I've been using it. I use it six days a week, sometimes seven, just keep my body stretched. I mean, there's more than stretching on there. Like there's weightlifting, kickboxing.

[00:32:22] I had a very annoying giving you a headache. Yeah, it's funny. My friend is actually tutoring me online. And it's like, if anybody gave me, if any company that I've been using for marketing, et cetera, gave me a graph that I can read

[00:33:42] because like they're just doing it just for the heck of it

[00:33:46] because of statistics or anything, like whoever creates statistics is a total idiot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No offense to anybody who loves math and whatnot, but I hate math. Sure. No, I'm not a big fan of math either. So I'm right there with you, my friend.

[00:35:00] Okay, good.

[00:35:00] Because I'm like, my friend loves math

[00:35:03] and is like, isn't math the best?

[00:35:05] And he's like, dollars a year. They're extremely crazy. You get everything in the crazy plan, plus you'll get access to your exclusive members' products, probably Facebook group, and bonus ask me about anything episodes, and you get to suggest topics for the show in the Facebook group.

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[00:37:22] recover, so to speak. No, that's great. That's great.

[00:37:24] I like to do a little self reflection.

[00:37:27] And if I see that I'm slipping, I start to ask myself,

[00:37:34] I'm trying to, I'm just making sure I have the wording right

[00:37:37] from how would I know what to do.

[00:37:40] I usually ask myself, well, what's going on?

[00:37:42] Why do you feel that you're not?

[00:37:43] Why do you feel that this, before and it didn't work. So I like to go through some reflective questioning to ask myself once I get there. So I pause and I ask these questions and I take some time to meditate and self reflect and journal about it. So I can come out and figure out what the root causes

[00:39:01] so I can tap back and figure out what I need to do

[00:39:05] to resolve that piece. boom, boom, boom. And I'm like, okay, this is getting annoying. Why is this doing this? And so I was reflecting and I said, okay, it's probably because of, well, I mean, I gave you two reasons. One reason I was, I'm working looking for these statistics for such and such and slide. He didn't say anything bad about it because I got the three out of the four slides that I needed to complete. And so I kind of felt like, okay, and waiting for the week of. And I was like, now, why can't I just do that every single time? And it's like, I said to myself, well, you can if you stop being lazy for it. And I say, Okay,

[00:43:00] so you know, and so and then my last reason why I came up with

[00:44:03] my light on behind me and I was like, maybe I could have used the overhead lights,

[00:44:04] but it's like, okay, it's promotional content.

[00:44:08] Don't you want it to look like

[00:44:10] promotional kind of content versus,

[00:44:12] oh, yes, I'm in a, well, I know I'm not in a studio,

[00:44:16] but as I, but as I,

[00:44:18] do you really want the overhead lights on

[00:44:21] and then like look very professional?

[00:44:24] Or do you want to say and said, hey, you wanna do an interview series, written an interview series? And I was like, yes, sure. And they were looking for me in like a couple, like a week or two. And I kept, I said, sorry,

[00:45:42] and my brain is all over statistics and everything. If that is your show, you can do what you want, right? Yeah. I broke my own rules. I guess I have to fire myself later on. So my last few questions for you is,

[00:47:00] why do you think people are so hard on themselves

[00:47:03] if they don't reach all their goals in, let's say,

[00:47:06] in a few months? before and nobody else in my family has done before, so I'm never going to be able to get there. And they fall into that victim mentality and that takes over and then they end up not being able to move forward. I definitely agree on that and trust me, well I have failed many many times

[00:48:22] running Gracie Fitness guy. It looks perfect on the front end but on the back end it's one big I just learned experiences one after another. And I would be here today if I didn't fail 150 times. OK, let me rephrase that. I had an epic fail, though. Well, it was an epic fail on just something that was just,

[00:49:41] I have this one tool that, I had, I was telling people to go to this one Zoom link and I was showing up for a different one. And I totally forgot that I had a different one set up and I kept wondering why is nobody showing up? And it took me forever to really figure it out and I lost a lot of business opportunities from it

[00:51:01] because I just didn't have it right.

[00:51:03] I just forgot that I had two set up.

[00:51:06] So I understand, I understand do you think should I keep this? Should I get rid of this? Should I, when should I get into this interview? And I'm looking forward to writing the interview, but it is like, I never had like a few minutes to myself

[00:52:21] because I'm always wanting something else from me.

[00:52:23] I'm like, I say, yeah a trend, but every single month it seems like Google's always like one article or two articles behind and then it updates. And I was like, all these other publications, this person who thinks he is? I'm like, the only person who's willing to go against the tech company in the world. Here's my PayPal link and your invoice. You are perfect. I'm not gonna do those things.

[00:55:01] I was like, they're probably gonna sue me later on.

[00:55:04] I got that.

[00:55:06] Yeah, probably.

[00:56:05] I feel like I resonate more with his story.

[00:56:11] This story, he used to be an athlete, then he got injured.

[00:56:13] I mean, I don't resonate with that part,

[00:56:15] but how I resonate is that after high school,

[00:56:19] I didn't know what I wanted to do.

[00:56:21] And so I sat around for a year,

[00:56:23] then I started doing different odd jobs, fun favorite things to do in your free time if you're not learning something new or listening to a podcast. Sure, I love going off-roading. I have a Jeep so I love finding some back trails and pushing my Jeep to the limit to see how far I can go and rock climb. I love hiking, going out in nature, testing my skill set and my endurance on various hiking trails.

[00:58:42] I said, I'm trying to cut back on some of my expenses.

[00:58:48] I'm about to buy a book here and there. If it's in a series I've been reading or a colleague of mine who just published a book

[00:58:52] that I'm waiting on to get some more money coming in to provide

[00:58:58] by. I do replace this an email signature tool first because

[00:59:03] that one just went by after a have to offer. You can feel free to reach out to me. You can contact me directly through the website or reach me at Len, L-E-N at the my, excuse me, Len, L-E-N at Michael Mann. Ooh, I'm,

[01:00:20] I'm gonna tongue-tide. Look at that. kind of my passion right now and empowering men. So that's where I'm going. I still have my book out there, 1% more, The Hidden Force to Create Extraordinary Results in Life and Business, beautiful book. It's a co-author book.

[01:01:40] I have about 25 other co-authors in there

[01:01:43] and this broke along with my desk and reminds me, hey, you gotta drink water.

[01:03:03] And Hydroflux, it keeps it cold longer, which makes me want to drink more water throughout